Modern day tribes

[westtexasmom]

Another thread got me thinking and I'd like a good discussion on modern day tribes or families. We will none of us be the same, that is a good thing, and we can all agree to disagree.........

I think that we are all so diverse in our cultures and find it very interesting how some of us react to certain situations. Is it cultural, learned or has society made us think we should behave a certain way.

My tribe/family has what we feel is "keep it in the family" values. We value each other above all and would do anything for each other. I have taught my kids that family is what you have when you have nothing else. Of course you have your faith, whatever that may be, faith will get you thru. But our faith is intertwined with our family values.

My family would not talk to "outsiders" against the family. We stand solid as one united front I guess you could say.

More to come...........I'd like to hear others views and their values and ethics in their tribe/family.

[bigfatfurrytexan]

I think that we are all so diverse in our cultures and find it very interesting how some of us react to certain situations. Is it cultural, learned or has society made us think we should behave a certain way.

You nailed the purpose behind 90% of my posts in this forum. The heated discussions, they are what let me see what is going on. Sometimes i ask questions or make statements that i know are going to piss people off just to elicit conversation about something.

Often it is due to my own doubts, and playing devils advocate helps me work through this. It has not worked for abortion, and a few other things, because some questions just have not been addressed to my satisfaction. But it does help me formulate my own mentality. This is also why i read the true greats like Pythagoras (which precious little remains of), Aristotle, Bacon...people with mentalities far, far beyond mine.

In my household i try to revive the age of reason. My wife resists. Our household culture is one of privacy and free thinking. Outside of those two things, nothing else is really that important.

[westtexasmom]

Do you think kids and young adults today are more irresponsible because of a shift in the guidance of a "tribe" or family. Do you think the make up a modern day familes is to blame or maybe the fact that both parents have to work now days, more latch key kids.........??

I am just curious how we all feel about the decline of a whole generation.......and how did it happen?

[momofblondegirl86]

Do you think kids and young adults today are more irresponsible because of a shift in the guidance of a "tribe" or family. Do you think the make up a modern day familes is to blame or maybe the fact that both parents have to work now days, more latch key kids.........??

I am just curious how we all feel about the decline of a whole generation.......and how did it happen?

I dont think it is a decline in a whole generation per se. I could give examples of my family in my childrens generation and my generation and my parents generation and my grandparents generation, who were and are irresponsible, but I wont. Some people are caring and responsible (or whatever) and some are not. I dont think it is an age thing. I do think some of the decline could be blamed on birth order, but I cant prove it. In my family it is the second born child that feels they were some how wronged and think it is there job to make the family as whole pay for it.

[WTXJ]

Do you think kids and young adults today are more irresponsible because of a shift in the guidance of a "tribe" or family. Do you think the make up a modern day familes is to blame or maybe the fact that both parents have to work now days, more latch key kids.........??

I am just curious how we all feel about the decline of a whole generation.......and how did it happen?

"Free Range Kids" is what I call it.

[raelaka76]

As you all know...I tend to go back to the Bible to answer questions. As I see it....the Modern Day Tribe is suffering due to lack of guidance.

The center of the community is no longer the church. When the center of the community is a church there tends to be more accountability...kids are made to take responsibility for thier actions. I know there are always exceptions...but, for the most part...a church centered life is a guided life. Dawson is a regular church attender and he understands prayer...as much as a 2 year old can.

Also...discipline is too lax nowadays. The Bible is very clear on respect and punishment. I know there are too many cases of abuse...and that is just horrible...nothing can compare...however, lack of discpline is a form of abuse. Kids are being raised with a sense of entitlement now. The parents that go way overboard to make thier children "the center" are 1.) not following God's intentional order of God, Spouse, Children, Family, Church 2.) giving the child a false sense of importance that will make them less able to succeed. Lack of success can turn to life of crime. These parents are almost as bad as the parents that do not do enough for thier child.

On the discipline issue...I have had to defend myself way too many times for spanking Dawson in public. Sorry, but if Dawson is not minding and being a turd...he will be spanked...my responsibilty is to Dawson...and in order to grow him to his best potential, I have to make him understand rules and consequence. Many people think I am wrong...and that is thier right...but, my right to discipline my child is important too. I know Dawson will be a respectable, responsible Christian member of society...and that will be a success for me and God.

So, my tribe = love, attention, and self esteem building coupled with learning and discipline. Now I do this mainly on my own...tougher than before...so I have to be way careful not to over-spoil Dawson in order to compensate for his lose. This is hard...but, I do it. Now, his Granny...whole other story, lol!! You ask him what GRanny says....his response "Whatever you want Dawson." lol

Now that everyone knows I am a perfect parent....lol...yeah right. I am sure I make millions of mistakes...but by gosh...not from lack of effort.

[westtexasmom]

Thanks BFFT, MOBG, WTX and Rae for your reponses. All great responses. I love to hear others views on this.......

[westtexasmom]

"Free Range Kids" is what I call it.

Yes I agree......hard tho sometimes when the bills have to be paid and food has to be put on the table. Kind of a catch 22.........

[bigfatfurrytexan]

Do you think kids and young adults today are more irresponsible because of a shift in the guidance of a "tribe" or family. Do you think the make up a modern day familes is to blame or maybe the fact that both parents have to work now days, more latch key kids.........??

I am just curious how we all feel about the decline of a whole generation.......and how did it happen?

My opinion? It all boils down to media. In simple terms, GIGO: garbage in, garbage out.

The whole "ADD" issue, i think, is caused by the media that kids watch, where they are intellectually conditioned to have no attention or concentration. For role models, they are given people who are able to solve all of lifes problems within 30 minutes. So their expectation of life and lifes challenges is completely skewed from what reality dictates. The propensity for instant gratification in human nature has become a common part of the American psyche.

Your children are what our media has made them, due to our own inability to properly parent (myself included). Of course, you and I are children raised by media as well, so it seems much more natural to us than it would have to our great grandparents.

There is little that can be done about it, either. Humans crave distractions. Remember how Rome made entertainment out of men fighting each other? How it spiralled into a more and more abstract and bizarre theater? Draw an analogue to our current media environment. I think Avatar just broke every single record out there.

And matters are made worse by the natural flow of business, where larger business begin to buy up smaller businesses to strengthen their own financial portfolios. After several years of this, we are left with 5 major companies running American media...and often these companies work within themselves in partnerships.

The future thoughts and guidance of our nation has been concentrated into a small group of hands, each with their own agenda on what they are trying to achieve. Untold billions are spent on figuring out human psychology to a degree that humans can be manipulated willingly.

If you doubt this, just look. How much did you pay for your TV? Your cable? All that money is money you are paying so that media giants can deliver their message to you. You have paid them to do this to you. That is how far each of us have been manipulated, so much so that we, metaphorically speaking, are like willing lambs to the slaughter.

[bigfatfurrytexan]

As you all know...I tend to go back to the Bible to answer questions. As I see it....the Modern Day Tribe is suffering due to lack of guidance.

This sums it up perfectly. A lack of guidance.

And your reference to the Bible is spot on.

We have entered a day where everything, including morality, is no longer a black and white issue. It is all about grey. We have lost our moral bearing by convincing ourselves through fallacious logic, that right and wrong is more perceptive and less factual.

It is the waffling mindset that is driving us down. The lack of guidance of our own conscience and cultural morality.

I think it is obvious that the human heart can tell us what is right and what is wrong. Over countless centuries, right and wrong have been obvious and with us. And deciding what is right and what is wrong was something that just about anyone could do without any education.

[raelaka76]

Thanks BFFT....kinda surprised you agreed with me.

I do think Right and Wrong is knowledge we are born with...I think the kids being raised with a sense of entitlement think it may be wrong...but if I do it...it is ok...because I am more important that others.

I heard a speaker last week address this issue...it made me look long and hard at how I raise my kid.

[westtexasmom]

Not only a LACK of guidance but who is leading who where......I mean we can't even agree on things as ONE NATION UNDER GOD......how can we expect our kids to figure out what is right and wrong when we spend everyday tearing apart the very fiber of our country? No prayer in school or at school functions, no commandments at the courthouse, yet you still swear in on the bible........its confusing for ANYONE!!!

They watch us, they watch the media, they go to school, they listen to their peers........I mean is this an overload?

I tend to lean towards the loss of a central family unit and yes church or faith and guidance for a family also.

[bigfatfurrytexan]

I am smart enough to use the logic my Creator gave me to know right and wrong.

But the Bible has lessons in it that really drive that point home. It allows you to anchor these abstract thoughts to real stories that make it all make sense. I think that a good, Christian background is as good as it can get for someone.

And if you are raised in an area without Christians, just jump in with the local religion. They all teach the same general concepts, even if those teachings are ignored by the clerics.

I have a great role model for what a Christian should be. Because of her, I will always love and revere the faith, even if it isn't the path i follow.

[WTXJ]

Yes I agree......hard tho sometimes when the bills have to be paid and food has to be put on the table. Kind of a catch 22.........

Life is hard, no use making it more difficult when the kids become teens.
Set the boundaries when the kids are young, whatever the boundaries are for any family, then you get to reap what you sow or something like that when the kids are older. Yes it is hard but worth it. IMHO

Maybe a new take off term: Free Range Tribes?

[raelaka76]

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it."