Got kicked out of church

[raelaka76]

Ok...I have a question for you all. Let me explain the situation...and I want your honest opinions please....

Before my husband died we and another set of friends changed churches. We thought the old church had changed more than we were ready for. We never bad mouthed the church...I always felt like the preacher was a man of God...and was being led down a different path than I was. There is a verse in the Bible about God putting you in the right church....

So, my friend recently decided to go back to the church and asked me to consider it. (After we left, the church did some pretty bad things to us.... i will get into that later). My friend reminded me that while they are preachers, they are also human and allowed errors.

So, I went back. I had not gone to this church since before DAvid died...and we always went as a family. That is where David was baptised and Dawson was dedicated. So, it was tough on me. I decided to keep Dawson with me for emotional support. At the door, I was asked if I wanted him to be in the nursery...I said, no he is fine. During worship singing....They asked me if I wanted Dawson to go to nursery, I said, no...he is fine. This is a full gospel church...the music is loud...and Dawson was SINGING...not talking. Then during the sermon....the usher came and asked us to leave the service because Dawson was causing others to be distracted. This is what Dawson was doing....sitting on my lap, drawing, and whispering in my ear. He would say a sentence in a normal voice occasionally, and I would whisper in his ear to be quiet and he would. I promise, that is the extent of his activity during the service. The service had about 15 mins left when they asked us to leave. In the hall, I explained to the usher why I had him with me...the whole emotional support thing. He said that if I wanted to go to thier service, I could not have my son with me.

I feel very very let down and I was very very upset. I guess a church has a right to make rules...but I see nowhere in the Bible that a child is not allowed in an adult service. I know it says the devil will distract, but Dawson was no more distracting than the adults whispering to each other....they do not get kicked out.

What are your feelings?

[Indy]

I would never go back to that church......how ridiculous!

[westtexasmom]

Organized religion is a crock............I do NOT support it on any level.

Your faith lives in you and what you believe, not what someone else thinks or says is the gospel truth. You have to find your own truth...........

I would feel no ill will towards them, but i'd never darken their door step again.

[WTXJ]

My real feelings----The church was nipping bringing young children into the adult service. You do it then someone else is going to do that. May be hard to stop after several bring young children in. A 9 month child who may cry.

The church members don't know your internal thoughts or maybe your past family history.
The church has a nursery, they want it to be used.

Go talk to someone at the church, explain why you brought him into the adult service, listen to what they say, then make your decision on the future.

[raelaka76]

WTXJ - I do agree with not constantly bringing children into the church service. And, I almost never do take him there. Sad thing, I did explain to them why I had him with me...they said that he still couldnt be there. Maybe it was the way it was handled...idk. Maybe I am being too sensitive...but I know it made me feel unwanted.

[Lacey]

Wow is all I can say. Children have to learn sooner or later how to behave in church. If he was unruly, I have no doubt you (as other parents in my congregation) would remove him from the service. I'm fascinated that the ushers are busy watching for disruptive children and not paying attention to the sermon and worship. I've never paid attention to others when I'm listening to the sermon. Of course if it is a child screaming, I might look away but it's not a big deal and I focus back on the preacher. Perhaps the preacher demands complete quiet so he can minister to his flock? It makes me feel good to see families worship together. Parents are the role model of how to behave in church, the importance of spiritual guidance, and sets the tone for the family morals and direction. In our church, we have an older adult who is mentally challenged. He will scream out every once in a while. This might sound silly, but I am so happy he is here with us. I want him to know he is wanted, loved and accepted for who he is. He is important and matters.

[PUGMOM]

"He" said it: Suffer the little children to come unto me..."

[bob]

I don't think there is any such verse referring to God putting you in the "right" church, but there is the statement of Jesus pointed out here

"He" said it: Suffer the little children to come unto me..."

Mark 10:13-15
And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.


The church nursery, childrens church and the like are modern inventions. Imagine a 3 hour puritan sermon in early America, all the children from newborns to pre-teens would take part. Same for the old revival meeting. They made it work.

If you feel this is a church that aligns with your beliefs you should talk to the pastor. Every church has some members who say things and act in ways that they shouldn't and would not be condoned by the leadership. But it if is their policy, I think they are way off base. Fact is, babies cry, little kids fidget and get restless. Big deal, would that this be the only problems we adults end up having after we learn to sit quietly and listen.

Matthew 23
27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.


Of course this is not an either or thing. If you have someone who makes it impossible for others to listen and meditate on what they are hearing, that needs to be dealt with.

[Dragonlady]

I don't think any church has the right to ask you to leave if you go as a family to worship God if you're not disruptive. Our old preacher said if he couldn't out talk a crying child then he needs to change professions.

Trust in God to lead you to where you need to be.

[raelaka76]

I agree that if he was disruptive he should not be in there. I guess some people thought he was. I wish it could be just a misunderstanding about the "policy" by an usher...but 3 usher's and a leader of the church were in the hall when I tried to explain why I had him with me.

I used to love this church....we stopped going there less than a year before my husband died. I do miss parts of the church, but with distance, I was also able to see that it is almost more of a "cult" atmosphere. They had me believing that if you do not get what you pray for...then your faith isnt strong enough. Then I read the verse about only needing to have faith the size of a mustard seed....made me really wonder. Then when my husband died...noone contacted us from the church.

I think I was a fool for going back...this may have been God's way of letting me know. Sunday, I am going to be back at the safety and acceptance of Mid-cities.

There was a period where my son was sick often...ear infections. During this times, I would keep him with me because he felt bad, was clingy and I wanted to pray laying hands on him in the surrounding of other Christians. Nothing was ever said to me...not even a frown. I always sat at the back on the end so if he got loud I could get out. The only time anything ever said anything to me was one time he got sick...and I got him out of the sanctuary before he exploded....that time the ushers did say something.....they said, "how can we help you and your child"...then they prayed for him after they helped me clean up and me up.

I think that is the way it should be.

[raelaka76]

Mid-Cities was the church that was so understanding when he was sick.

[rpatterson]

I think you have found your answer.

[Dragonlady]

I think you have found your answer.

Ditto

[westtexasmom]

I don't think any church has the right to ask you to leave if you go as a family to worship God if you're not disruptive. Our old preacher said if he couldn't out talk a crying child then he needs to change professions.

Trust in God to lead you to where you need to be.

Amen!!

[bigfatfurrytexan]

My two cents...

walk away from this church. For good. This is not the values you are looking for. Find a church that support strong familial bonds, and encourages participation on all levels of worship.

Your faith should encourage, enrich, and strengthen you. Find the church that does this best. Like you said, preachers are human. They are prone to error. And a church is only as good as its executive (and human) leadership.